


Meeting of the Minds

by MagdaTheMagpie



Series: Marvel & Magic [30]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Potions Accident, Statute of Secrecy? What Statute of Secrecy?, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 18:29:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18266993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagdaTheMagpie/pseuds/MagdaTheMagpie
Summary: Bruce always thought nothing could stop the Hulk, but smashing through a witch's apothecary proves him wrong.





	Meeting of the Minds

Bruce didn't really pay attention to public safety messages. After all, if an army of aliens couldn't kill him, what did he care about bad sushis, mutant rats in the subway or toxic fumes over the city. The Hulk was, as far as knew, indestructible. He didn't heed the warning signs, the people running the other way screaming at him. It elicited, at the best, mild curiosity on his part.  
Some people thought he was simply too caught up in his own thoughts, but truth was, he simply didn't care. If he was in danger, the Hulk would simply take over and deal with it. The two of them were getting along a little better since he came to that realization. Still, the Hulk referred to him as the whimp, or the idiot, depending on his mood, and yet, as he stood half naked in the rubble, taking in the damage his alter-ego had just done, the chemical fumes and broken flasks around him, right in the centre of London, Bruce couldn't help the heartfelt: “You idiot.” to drop from his lips, right before he fell into a deep sleep.

 

Luna didn't know what hit her potions lab. One minute she was brewing a nargle repellent and the next, a giant green something had smashed right through her apothecary, collapsing half the building and breaking most of her stock. She wondered briefly if it had been a giant nargle before she succumbed to the fumes of her potions.

 

Luna wandered aimlessly around what she knew to be a dream, but she grew bored, so upon finding a door, she didn't hesitate to open it.  
“Hello,” she said to the man on the other side.  
He was writing on a whiteboard with some kind of magic pen, but whirled around upon hearing her voice, eyes gleaming bright green for an instant.  
“Hello?” he replied uncertainly, then scratched his head before asking: “Are you real?”  
“Of course I am, silly,” Luna laughed, offering her hand so he would know she was as real as a crumple-horned snorkack. “I'm Luna Lovegood. It's a pleasure to meet you. I was getting bored.”  
“Erm, yeah, me too. I mean,” he corrected himself, shaking her hand. “I'm Bruce. Do you know what the hell is going on? I've been trying to figure it out, but…”  
He waved at his whiteboard, at all the pretty numbers arranged with no rhyme or reason that she could see. She liked the patterns though.  
“Arithmancy won't help you. I'm afraid we're in a deep sleep.”  
“A coma, you mean?” Bruce asked, perplexed. “The Hulk can't be in a coma. It's impossible.”  
“Nothing is impossible,” she argued.  
Bruce was funny, if a bit stubborn. Probably a Gryffindor. Most of her friends were from that House, so she knew how to deal with them.  
“And we're only sleeping. We just need to find a way out. I thought this door might be the exit,” she explained as she pointed at the purple door. “But maybe that one is.”  
Bruce turned to look the other way at a green door, much larger than the purple one. He shook his head vehemently.  
“No, no, no. Believe me you don't want to go through that door.”  
“Why not?”  
Luna could swear she heard a deep rumble coming from the other side and her curiosity once more got the better of her. She really wanted to open it, hoping to find a heliopath behind it, or maybe a drumdigger.  
“It's, ah, the Hulk,” Bruce replied reluctantly.  
Luna cooed in interest.  
“He's… sort of me, but not me… Uhm… He's what I turn into when I'm angry. He's big and green and scary. Believe me, you don't want to meet him.”  
“Oh, I thought that was a giant nargle. So you're the one who smashed my shop?”  
“Sorry.”  
“Don't worry about it. My insurance covers me against mythical creatures. But that explains why you're here, and him.”  
“It does?”  
“Of course, you broke and mixed all my stock of sleeping potions and daydreaming drafts amongst other things. I can't imagine how intoxicated we currently are. Just the fumes was bad enough but personally, I was covered in the stuff. In fact, I'd say we're very lucky to be alive.”

 

Bruce stared at the strange woman speaking so matter of factly about narrowly escaping death and being in a strange, shared dream-coma, if she really was real, which he still wasn't convinced of, because she was much too pretty and calm in his opinion.  
“So we have to wait for our bodies to process the chemicals and we'll wake?”  
“Oh, no. That's going to take forever, and I have a shop to repair. The quickest way, since both our consciouses are awake, is to wake the third.”  
“I'd really rather not,” Bruce said, but Luna already had her dainty hand on the green door's large handle, her other one held out for him to take.  
Bruce sighed. If this was their best way out, he couldn't refuse her. If it was just him, maybe remaining asleep was for the best, safest for everyone, but he couldn't trap an innocent woman here with him and the Hulk for who knew how long…  
Besides, he trusted his friends, Tony in particular, were doing their best to wake them from their coma, although they were probably out of their depth.  
Setting his doubts aside, Bruce took her hand. She smiled at him and squeezed it gently before turning the handle.  
“Oh, my,” Luna exclaimed when she took in the Hulk in all its green glory, sleeping naked on his stomach and snoring loudly.  
The fact she wasn't scared was as surprising as her interest in his alter ego and her wonder as she chatted about conservation of mass and transfiguration. When they woke, he was going to demand her phone number so they could talk more about what she thought of the Hulk. It's something he always avoided, but she seemed to have a unique opinion of the beast. Maybe she even had a solution to his little green problem. Maybe she had a potion for that.  
“How do we wake him?” he asked.  
“How do you usually wake him?” she countered.  
“I get angry.”  
Which is when Bruce realised that for the first time in a long while, he was absolutely not angry. Great.  
“I can't. I'm just not.”  
“So what makes you angry?”  
“General Ross. Loki. Poverty. Sickness. Loneliness. My father. Being me, or having to be him,” he jutted his chin out at the sleeping Hulk. “Same thing really.”  
But it wasn't making him angry the way it used to. Not the way his life had gone off the rails. Not the way he'd been hunted or used, manipulated. Not the unfairness he saw, the injustice, the things he couldn't change. None of it made him angry now, just a bit sad and defeated. He told Luna as much.  
“I suppose it makes sense if our green room-mate here is the embodiment of your anger that you would be out if touch with it. Let's see… How does the Hulk turn back into you then?”  
“Exhaustion, or a real heavy hit. Like Mjolnir in the back of my head or falling from several thousand feet high.”  
And still, Luna took it all in stride with a mere twitch of her eyebrows.  
“Right, in that case, a good intake of energy should do the trick. Step back, please. Behind me if you don't mind.”

 

Luna had wanted an excuse to use this spell her whole life. Her mother had taught her to gather her magic in order to overpower any spell. Using it on an enervate was not what she had in mind when she imagined using it, but needs must. Meditating - whilst in a coma, the irony did not escape her- she gathered her magic to the tip of her hand. It took a while, or none at all since this shared mindscape was timeless, and cast the spell to wake the slumbering beast. It roared.

 

Bruce sat up suddenly, blinking against the light as he covered his aching ears, until he realized he was the one screaming.  
Glancing around, he found Tony on the floor, his hand against his arc reactor, eyes wide. He didn't see Luna though. He was in a standard one bed hospital room, although everything had a SHIELD quality to it. He had guessed a much in his coma.  
“Where's Luna?” he asked Tony urgently, ignoring his scratchy throat.  
He feared he had made her up as a way to deal with the comma, to guide him out of it.  
“Yes, hello to you too,” Tony snarled. “Here you had me worried sick and sitting at your bedside for a whole week like the good wife I am and you're asking after another chick as soon as you wake up. Just so you know, I'm considering a divorce, and I will demand to have your strangely indestructible pants.”  
“Tony,” Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I just need to know…”  
That she's alright? That she's real?  
“If you mean the hot blond witch, she's next door, and Natasha just texted me she's awake.”  
A witch? Well, that made sense of her nonsense he supposed. He swivelled his legs to the side of the bed and stood before he got too dizzy to even make it one step towards the door.  
“Whoa there,” Tony exclaimed, hurrying to support him. “What part of in a coma for a week did you not understand?”  
“I'm fine. I just need to see her.”  
“Fine… ” Tony grumbled but he helped him walk out. “I hope I'm not this annoying when-”  
“You are,” Bruce cut him off. “Always.”  
Tony huffed as they stood in front of the room next door and knocked, then he smirked at him.  
“You do realize you're about to meet the lady in a hospital gown?”  
Bruce looked down but he was actually more covered than he usually found himself after de-hulking. Tony still looked smug though as he opened the door and added: “No back.”  
Too late now, Natasha and Luna watched them hobble in. He would just have to be careful no to flash them.  
“Bruce!” Luna greeted him.  
“Hello again, Luna. It worked, so… I just wanted to thank you and make sure you were alright.”  
“So you two really were sharing a coma,” Natasha said, “Interesting.”  
“I'm fine. I was just telling Miss Natasha of our adventures although I don't think she believed me until now.”  
Natasha scowled, unhappy at being found out so easily. Bruce chuckled, relieved Luna was just the same as she had been in their minds. With a calm, dreamy air about her, but as sharp as a diamond beneath it all. He did wish they didn't have an audience though, but he swallowed his pride.  
“I was wondering if you would like to… Erm… share our dinner platters tonight?”  
Because he doubted they would be let out so soon, not after a magical coma. Tony snorted behind him while Natasha's face was politely blank.  
“I'd love too. You can have my pudding.”  
Tony guffawed louder. Bruce was going to let the Hulk smash him next chance he got. In the meanwhile it was best to beat a hasty escape before Tony made an inappropriate comment, so he turned around and pulled him towards the door, freezing when he heard the ladies behind him giggle. Luna giggling was one thing, the Black Widow however… And then he remembered the hospital gown.  
“I did warn you,” Tony said.  
But the embarrassment was still worth securing a date with the pretty witch he had met in his mind. 


End file.
